*This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*
“Abbie, are you coming or not?” I peeked my head out of my bedroom, peering down the hallway. Izzy, my roommate, stood next to the door with her arms crossed, clutching her cell phone tightly in one hand and her dorm keys in the other. Checking my watch, I widened my eyes.
“Is it already time?” I asked, surprised. Izzy chuckled, but I knew that chuckle. The one that seemed a little too forced, like she was irritated. Because she totally was.
“Yeah, we have to go before we miss the beginning,” Izzy reminded me. I snatched my wallet, phone, and jacket from my desk, closing my bedroom door behind me. Rushing out to Izzy, she held open the door, gesturing for me to go first.
“Thanks,” I told her. She gave me a genuine smile, at least I thought so, and followed after me, turning to lock the door.
Hurrying out to the cold February air, Pittsburgh was unusually green. Snow had melted, but the cold had returned, almost taunting us. Mother Nature was telling us, I’ll be back with snow, but here’s some winter chill for now. Meanwhile, all the boys in Tower C were playing outside in shorts and sweaters, in forty degree weather, avoiding homework to their hearts’ content. I wish I was doing the same.
Unfortunately, poor grades led me to leave the confinements of my bedroom, where I would have rather watched Stranger Things than go to a live poetry reading. But Dr. Estes had made it pretty clear: go or fail. And I didn’t want to endure another semester of her class, trying to master poetry forms I would never use–ever–and listening to her ramble on about the benefits of spoken word to help “cleanse the soul”. Still didn’t resonate with me. Not really.
Glancing up as we turned the corner, the stairs of death appeared before us, a set of two hundred steps that led from lower campus to upper campus. Otherwise known as the reason I never had to do cardio at the gym, ever. Or leg day for that matter.
Izzy pressed her phone to hear ear.
“Hey. Yeah. We’re coming. Okay…yeah. See you there,” Izzy said into the phone, turning back to me when we made it exactly halfway. She took a deep breath–a necessary gesture at this point for anyone–and stared at me. “Josh saved us seats.”
“Cool,” I said. Inside, I wanted to vomit. For good and bad reasons.
Josh. The kid I had run into far too many times the last three years at Cole. No matter what, without fail, every single semester we had at least one class together and if it was assigned seats, the professor would seemingly place us next to each other. We didn’t even have last names in close proximity. Mine was Albany and his was Trinity.
Not to mention he was always trying to make me laugh, always asking me for help with his homework assignments, and he always had this look in his eye when he gazed over at me, like there was something more he held back. And I knew what that was, even if we’d left it as the elephant in every classroom we’d ever been stuck in together.
After what seemed like an eternity, we came to the last step at the very stop of the stairs and meandered to the first brick building: the arts center. Izzy held open the door to the auditorium for me. Chatter surrounded us immediately and I longed for the silence of our apartment. Then I saw him.
Josh sat in the front row, wearing his square frames and grinning in our direction. I’ll admit: he was easy on the eyes. He had these green eyes that reminded me of the trees at their fullest in the spring, and his hair was always a little too messy, like he hadn’t bothered to comb it properly when he woke up. Not to mention his cologne. He always smelled like an Abercrombie and Fitch store.
“Hey guys,” Josh greeted us as we walked over to him, standing up. Izzy sat on the right side of Josh, leaving me to his left. We both plopped down. Josh’s gaze immediately gravitated over to me when Izzy pulled out her cell phone and notebook. “How are you?”
“Great, you?” I asked, giving him my best smile as not to seem rude, even though my stomach was a web of insecurity as I noticed him staring at me. Then my cheeks got hot.
“Awesome. I signed up for the open mic,” Josh announced proudly, loud enough for a couple people around us to glance over. Izzy, as enthusiastic, slapped Josh on the shoulder. I continued to gawk him. What on earth was he going to do poetry about?
“This is going to be epic! Do you want me to film you?” Izzy asked, pulling out her phone. Josh shrugged, giving her a smile.
“Actually, if you don’t mind, that would be great,” Josh muttered. There was a tap on the mic, and I was actually glad. I was both intrigued and worried as to what Josh would be speaking about. His interests varied from gaming to Elon Musk, and I couldn’t imagine him writing an epic poem about his love of Teslas and Elon Musk. As he says, fat chance.
“Alright, we are going to get started,” a teacher I recognized announced. I couldn’t think of her name, but she’d taught me English first year seminar. I remembered her the moment I heard her nasally voice, and heard her clanking clogs as she stepped up to the raised up stage.
“It’s great to see so many of you here, and we can’t wait to get started,” our old teacher said with a smile, glancing out around the room, before clearing her throat and continuing on. “We’re going down the list, from first to last, so no surprises. First, we’re going to bring up Kevin McCaid. Kevin, come on down here.”
Applause followed by footsteps from my left signaled the start. We all settled into our seats. I kept my eyes on the stage, but found myself distracted. Josh tapped his foot against the floor next to me, clasping his hands together in his lap. Izzy had a finger in her mouth, biting a nail as she listened to Kevin ramble on about the struggles of living in the closet in high school. My heart sank as I listened and I felt goosebumps spread across my skin. Josh twitched, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.
“You good?” He whispered. I turned to him, nodding. He nodded, not glancing over at me at all. I sighed, focusing back on the stage.
“To find a love as deep as the depths of the Mariana’s Trench,” Kevin read aloud, pausing as he glanced down on his paper. “in a world as shallow as the kiddie pool at Shadyside Recreation Center.”
“It is downright shallow, that pool is,” Josh muttered under his breath. I snorted, attempting not to laugh, thinking of the one time we went there. Somehow, Josh managed to face plant into the shallow end of the pool after trying to help a little boy retrieve his floatie. And break his nose in the process.
More applause alerted me that I had unconsciously been staring at Josh. I turned away, right as he glanced over at me, and then over to Izzy, who simply nodded and held the phone up. She was ready. Was he next?
“Thank you, Kevin, for that heartfelt message. Next up is Joshua Trinity, come on up!” Josh bounded out of his chair, without any papers, heading right up to the stage. Full of glee, he grabbed the mic from our old teacher, glancing out at the audience, letting his eyes fall on me last. I clapped along with everyone else.
“This is going out to someone special in my life. I’m not a poet, but when in love, am I right?” Josh explained, then turning to Izzy, who had her phone up and this silly smile on her face, like she knew what was going on. I felt a little twinge of jealousy. Izzy hadn’t told me about any romance with them. But why did I care?
“August 25th. You told me my shirt was the color of moldy spinach. I thought about how I could spend forever looking into your eyes,” Josh began, his voice shaky. I eyed Izzy out of the corner of my eye. Her grin grew wider by the minute.
“October 31st. We went to a Halloween party. You were Obama and I was Princess Jasmine.” My stomach twisted. I’d dressed up as Obama. He was Jasmine. He was talking about us. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I wanted nothing more than to escape. Izzy glanced over at me, right as I sat forward a little bit. She shook her head at me. Josh kept on going.
“February 14th. I stopped by your dorm and we had a very un-Valentine-like day. Watching you giggle till you cried during Austin Powers was the moment I realized I liked you. A little too much.
“April 22nd. I guess my feelings showed in my actions a little too much, because you approached me and told me that it would,” Josh paused, putting air quotes into the air, “‘never ever happen, Joshua Ethan Trinity’. Still, there was part of me that hoped.
“September 1st. Three months since I last saw you, and you were even more beautiful than before. You told me about your summer romance and I lied my pants off.” There was laughter in the audience and Josh grinned, avoiding my gaze still.
“March 10th. We fell asleep watching TV in your apartment. I didn’t tell you, but you falling asleep in my arms–feeling comfortable to do so–was everything to me. Until you woke up and shoved me into the coffee table.” More laughter, including my own. I sniffled, wiping some tears and chuckling. I remember it. Every single date he said. He remembered all of them.
“November 17th. We spent Thanksgiving together this year. We stayed up all night, chatting under the cold winter sky, drinking hot cider. I wanted that night to last forever.
“January 10th. We’re here, in the middle of this auditorium. Or at least I hope you are, or else me performing this would be for nothing. But I am here and I know how I feel. The question is, do you?”
Claps and cheers from the crowd alarmed me for a moment and Josh came off the stage, bounding down to his seat. Izzy turned off the camera and immediately eyed the both of us, waiting. I gazed at Josh, completely speechless. He liked me. Still. My stomach twisted up and I thought my throat had closed up. Did I like him too?
“That was really good,” I admitted, gazing at Josh. He stared right back at me with his mouth hung open, like he wasn’t sure what I had meant. I didn’t know what I had meant either. Izzy gawked the two of us, giving me wide eyes and mouthing something I couldn’t mistake:
Do something!
“Josh,” I stopped him before his defeated attention went to the next contestant. My hand went on top of his, on the armrest. We both just glanced into each other’s eyes. “Do you really mean all of that?”
“You mean you shoving me off the couch? Oh yes, totally, I mean–”
“I mean the stuff…about your feelings,” I whispered as the next contestant came onto the stage. We leaned into each other to hear each other better. But all I could think about in that moment was how close his lips were to mine. I could feel his breath on my lips.
Then he kissed me. I shut my eyes, as if on command, melting a little bit inside. All the twisting and the uneasiness settled. Josh squeezed my hand and pulled away, gazing deep into my eyes.
“I meant it,” he clarified, as if the kiss wasn’t clear enough. I giggled a little bit and Josh squinted at me. “What is it?”
“Did I really tell you it would never ever happen?”
“‘It’ll never ever happen, Joshua Ethan Trinity’,” Josh whispered and I rolled my eyes, turning away from him and feigning a frown. Then he wrapped an arm over my shoulders, still eyeing me. I relaxed under his touch glancing over at him. “Is this okay?”
Instead of replying, I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. After a little bit, he relaxed next to me, both of us cuddling up next to each other. Out of the corner of my eye, Izzy was smirking over at us, shaking her head.
In that moment, I didn’t care. All I focused on was how safe I felt, and how happy I was, right there, next to Josh Trinity. The boy who I’d teased for years, but ended up falling for, inevitably and unconditionally.
