Muddled in the middle of all the highs in our lives, there are always a few low moments we sometimes surprise ourselves with when they do occur. The rollercoaster of life (not to get too ironic or cheesy) cannot have those roaring moments of the wind rushing through your hair unless you truly, completely, just fall. Failing is not pretty, either, by any means. It can be sloppy, embarrassing, but failing is authentic. It’s when we’re most vulnerable and we learn more than we expected to of ourselves. It’s when the important magic happens.
I’ll admit it, I have felt some slight bouts of culture shock. Some of them worse than others, but none that convinced me to hide away in my apartment out of shame or frustration. The moments were pretty much as simple as you can imagine: trying to order food and mistakenly telling the lady you would like ten vegetable fruits instead of ten vegetable dumplings only to have a very kind woman behind you help you order, then fearing ordering food anywhere else because you don’t want to mess up (I am eating enough, do not worry). These were expected, but I’m using my frustration to learn Mandarin as much as I can, so that someday I can go back and order properly and surprise myself, not just the lady behind the counter who thought I was insane for wanting vegetable fruits.
Low moments like this over here, in my new home base, have me thinking about some other low moments I had, and how I managed to make it through. They were different sorts of difficulties, but everyone has to deal with “haters” and obstacles. It’s what makes us human, and also as strong as the individuals we all are shaped up to be over the years. In moments when the obstacle is not other people trying to tear us down but physical barriers, like learning new languages and acclimating yourself to new surroundings, you have to remind yourself that making mistakes is okay and perfectly natural. Like I said, if you don’t fail, what stories are you going to tell to your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc twenty years from now when they ask what you did when you were younger? Failing not only makes you a better person, it makes a better story.
When it comes to the “haters” as we like to call them, at the end of the day, you have to recognize who knows you, who loves you, and who is there for you no matter what happens to you. They exist to test us, to make us question ourselves, but if you let them get to you, are you staying true to who you know yourself to be? As many of the closest people in my life have told me, if you haven’t lost a friend or two, you haven’t found yourself. If people don’t like who you’ve become or have something negative to say about who you are and what you’re doing, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life in the way they maybe once were.
Truthfully, one of the most important things you need to ensure is your happiness. It took me far too long to realize this. Doing what makes you happy leaves you with people–sometimes all over the world–who unconditionally want to see you happy. After all, the company you keep makes you the person you are.
I’m happy with the person I have become and the people in my corner, and I know that even the lowest of days are just reminders that I need to think postively and try harder, surprise myself even. It’s not the end of the world if you have an off day, it’s just another chance to keep going and try again. Sometimes, I just need a reminder that it’s okay to be where you are, and that the struggle is temporary.
I do feel that even at the lowest moments, we forget that we are not alone. We experience the world differently, struggle with different things, but we all know what it feels like. In whatever situation you find yourself in, may you fail, but may you grow gracefully as a result of your low moments and become someone you are proud of being.
