When I was little, I remember thinking how amazing it would be to be an adult. Being able to pay for things, make my own decisions, travel, and most importantly, have my place. That was always a creative dream of mine–to design my home with my style, much like I did my room until the age of eighteen.
Of course, I was blinded by the rose-colored lenses of playing house with my siblings my friends and writing stories of make-believe worlds in my journals, notebooks, and sometimes even paper napkins at the café. Life is a little bit harder than a simple game of house.
I still write about mermaids, witches, werewolves, and the like. That part of me has stuck with me for quite some time, and I believe it will always be a part of me.
When we were kids, we had numerous ways to restore ourselves. First, to take a step back and collect ourselves. And the world responded in kind. If we were pretty nasty, we’d go in time out and pay our dues. If we were wronged, our parents would comfort us and explain that our feelings (most of them usually) were validated.
Yet, people often do not take about the self-love and the self-care that takes over once we reach a certain age. After we become teenagers, we begin to figure out how to piece the fragments of ourselves back together. We take the needle ourselves, say some affirming phrases, and we do our best to overcome whatever rocked our ship too far to the starboard side. We do our best, but our operation restoration efforts are often thwarted, and it’s okay not to be okay sometimes.
As someone who played ice hockey for 13+ years and various other sports, the phrase “suck it up” or “rub some dirt in it” metaphorically carried me through much of my youth.
Someone checked me into the boards?
Easy, I’d take the puck down the rink and score and make them feel how angry they made me feel.
Someone said something nasty to me?
I’d probably cry a bit and consult my mom or dad if I was young enough.
But what do we all do when we are adults, and we begin to feel the very same way?
Being unsettled doesn’t make us wrong, but it makes us human. And restoring our sense of confidence, happiness, or even just contentment is the first step towards reaching equilibrium again and being comfortable taking the next step towards our goals.
Healing ourselves will look different from person to person, depending on what we need as adults. For some, it’s an excellent classic movie and an excellent ol’ cry. For others, it’s a change of scenery. As someone who has lived in various cities, countries, etc., let me be bold and say this:
Sometimes, it is the place that hurts your self-esteem and makes you question who you are, what you love, and who you want to be.
Places and people have relationships much as people do with each other. Unfortunately, we are not always compatible with the places we live. We buck, fight, and feel the resistance, and if we do, you should probably listen to those feelings.
Operation restoration for me has been a mantra for quite some time. It’s my beneficial excuse to find some way to make myself feel better, whether through self-care, taking a night off from work and pacing things out better, or choosing to remove myself from a situation as I move somewhere else.
It’s okay to change your mind, as long as it helps you heal your heart, mind, and soul.
On your journey to restoring who you are and the vitality of all that makes you beautiful as a person, I hope that you remember that, much like I remind myself from time to time.
The most crucial thing in this world is being happy, feeling loved, and spending your life with those who make it worthwhile. As long as you feel something out of sync, operation restoration is always the right plan to get you back on track and feel your absolute best self.
