*written mid-trip to America, whilst sleep deprived and without connection to the outside world, so take what I have to say with utmost caution, or don’t*
To say I am excited to go home is an understatement. I’m pretty sure my countdown started at 100 days to go. I’m so stoked that I’m sitting in seat 25K, staring out the window, wide awake on a ten-hour flight from Taipei to Vancouver, knowing full well that not getting sleep is going to be so fun later when I finally make it to Chicago. Good news is that I’ll sleep really well tonight. That’s for sure.
It’s been a while since I have flown international, but obviously not much has changed. I still got my meal before everyone else, and I much prefer Air Canada’s veggie options compared to that of Air China and United, which I have tried before. However, there’s still like zero leg room. If possible, I think there’s actually less than the last time I flew over the Pacific. But, then again, ten hours ago, I was sitting on the HSR in Taiwan where you can stretch your legs out for days and still not touch the seat in front of you. For me, the highlight, honestly, was the touchscreen TV. What a world we live in! Personal touchscreen TVs complete with movies, music, maps, and all the bells and whistles. Solitaire killed a good hour of my time, and the quality of the movie screen was pretty top notch. But that’s not all I have found to entertain myself.
All this free time on the plane has been quite productive. I read half a book. I wrote some articles for my blog. I finally learned what lacto-ovo vegetarian means. I watched Black Panther. Took some cool pictures of clouds that looked like cotton candy. I also stared at the moon for like five minutes because it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it that clearly without the smog of the city. I have also had weird waves of nostalgia about most things home related the last couple of hours.
Do you ever sit back sometimes and just have fragments of memories replay in your mind? That is kind of what has been happening the last couple of hours. Most of that is due to the fact I found my old iPhone and the playlists on it are really old, like pre college or around then and that’s two years ago now. But another part of me knows this is because I’m going home, for the first time in like two years, and I know I am not exactly the same person as I was before. Some worries rest in the back of my mind, like what if I don’t think of things the same way I did way back then? What if the things I liked then aren’t the things I’m going to like now? What if I miss it too much and leaving will be harder than the first time I did?
Now, the person I was two years ago probably, for lack of a better phrase, would have figuratively sh*t her pants and sent herself into an overthinking spiral, and as well as given herself a fair bit of anxiety. But now, I kind of just sit back, shrug, and continue to stare at the moon like it’s my one true soulmate. So what if I don’t like the same things I liked back then? I think that’s kind of the whole point of revisiting things after you’ve grown up a little bit and some time has passed. You aren’t going to gravitate towards the same things as you once did, because you aren’t the person you once were. So what if I miss home a lot when I leave again? In the back of my mind, after spending two years away, I know it’s coming close to the time I actually move home. Maybe it’s for good, or maybe it’s only temporary until the next big thing arises. All I know is life is a wonderful adventure and things change. What I wanted six months ago isn’t what I want now. That’s just how it works. And I’m totally okay with it.
