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When I arrived in Taiwan in 2016 the second time, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I was all dimples at training when they explained the more tedious details of our duties as teachers. I grinned as we drove around Taipei, checking out the sights, getting our medical tests done so we could get health insurance, and I even cracked a smile when I moved into my apartment and ran some numbers to budget.
Everything–and I mean everything–about moving abroad was an exciting experience, because it was my first time. Happiness, as it seemed back then, was a plenty and it was hard to shake from me, even on the more nerve-wracking days. But with anything, new and thrilling situations lose their hype.
About nine months into my time in Taiwan, I began to question a lot. I didn’t share this with many people, but I started to wonder if my time in Taiwan was short lived. At the time, I had planned two years in Taiwan and I was thinking that it was a spontaneous choice gone wrong. Things hit a rough patch, and some of the same emotions I felt in university returned, making me feel out of place. Truthfully, I was heartbroken, and that ominous feeling didn’t really leave my bones until January of 2018, when I realized something, and finally took action this time around: my happiness doesn’t depend upon others.
Living in another country, the world seems like it can swallow you whole sometimes. It’s because, in my opinion, we are so far from home. It’s not always possible to call up your family or friends if something bad happens, or if there’s an emergency. That’s what makes it so hard. As someone who is rather dependent at times on these people in my life, it taught me 1) that my happiness and my sanity is solely in my hands and 2) I am capable of handling myself in even the toughest of situations if need be.
So, how do you be happy, even when the entire world feels like a bit too much?
You listen to yourself. If you don’t feel like getting out of bed, at least get up and give yourself a nice long shower.
Clean up a little bit around the house, grab a pint of your favorite ice cream or your favorite cup of tea, and curl in front of the couch.
Do something mindless, or pour your heart out into your writing, or etch something on a canvas. Being creative allows us to hash out our frustrations and our fears without judgment.
Go for a walk in a part of town you don’t know.
Write a letter to your family or write one to yourself, to your future self of all the things you want to be and stash it away for a rainy day when you feel like life’s getting you down.
Whatever you choose to do, do not dwell on the things you cannot change. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come. You have made it through all the trials and tribulations up until this point in your life, and you have come out victorious and with new lessons tucked into your back pocket. You are powerful in your own right, no matter what happens and how you feel at times.
You find happiness in tending to yourself, in listening to your needs, and recognizing that you do have bad days, but happiness is simple. Happiness just is. It’s not in another person, in what someone says about your latest project, or in how people respond to your latest post. Your happiness is in your hands, and you are capable and responsible for maintaining it.
It’s funny that it took coming to Taiwan and truly, completely being on my own in my own space to take action to a feeling and experience that has visited me many a times. But, I hope that you find comfort in knowing that happiness does not require any hefty efforts, or any large sum of money to find. Sometimes, happiness is sitting on your couch with a giant blanket over you, comfortably in your pajamas leaned over a good book. And at times, happiness is walking through IKEA and envisioning a future that has yet to happen. Whatever the case, if you’re in a dark place currently, remember what good old Albus Dumbledore taught us:
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, but only to those who remember to turn on the light.”
