College in America tends to have this reputation for being quite scandalous: raging parties, crazy stories, plenty of laughs and ample tears, and the like. At the time of my high school graduation, I’d never had a drink, never really dated anyone, and never smoked. I was pretty naive to everything that most of my classmates knew about and unlike my current “try everything once” vibe, I shied away from anything new or seemingly unknown. That is, until I moved to Pittsburgh and started college.
I’m not even sure how it happened, but I went from plain Jane to colorful Kate in a matters of weeks. Maybe it was the people I had met, the energy of the Steel City, or the fact that I was away from home influences for the first time ever. Either way, I indulged in a fair bit of crazy. One of them happened to take place around Christmas, after finals and right before I headed home for winter break.
As part of the hockey team, much of our extra-curricular activities included *drum roll please* drinking. Freshman college Marie went a little hardcore for my own current tastes, which is funny because my college self and my current self don’t last more than two drinks before I’m a blubbering, giggly drunk mess spewing off thoughts on rapid fire. Either way, I sat in my teammate’s apartment drinking some cheap vodka with an even cheaper bottle of orange juice mixed in. We’d just finished a Wii racing game and we were bored. So someone–I honestly can’t remember who–suggested a brilliant idea: let’s go steal the blown up holiday decorations.
My university was quite small and it was the last night before the very last day of finals, alas we almost knew that we’d be the only people tripping and stumbling through campus. And I mean literally stumbling through campus. By eleven o’clock on that Thursday, most of us were far too drunk to be doing what we were doing, but nevertheless, we headed up to the top of campus.
We ascended the stairs, walked between the academic buildings, sauntered down the hill, and came to the foot of the hill before Beatty House, where the campus police had their main hub. Mind you, the entire time we were trekking up here, we were all laughing way too loud and talking about how fun the entire night was. In other words, we were just begging to be pulled aside and asked what we were doing instead of studying or chilling at home, where it was far warmer and safer.
I’ll be honest: I don’t remember who did it. But someone took the pocket knife, cut the strings free off of three characters: a snowman, Santa Claus, and a reindeer. And then we booked it. We ran, clumsily due to the night’s previous events, down the hill and back up towards the library. It was one of the more thrilling moments of the first year I spent at university. There was this rush of doing it that spread through my body. Part of it, I know now, was because one, this was not allowed and we’d be in trouble for this later and two, because of all the alcohol coursing through my veins.
The reindeer found its place in front of the cafe, which ironically was where they would consider placing it the next year. It barely stood up like it was supposed to, but that was because we’d cut him free from his original resting place. And then for the snowman, we parked him right in front of the double doors of the library. Where were all the campus police, you might ask? Yeah, that’s a good question. I think because it was so late and I went to a university where the student population totaled just below one thousand kids, they were taking their sweet time coming to find where their decorations had gone.
As for Santa, one of our teammates worked extensively in the science building, so that was where we headed. Everyone else headed back to the apartments for more beer pong and drinking games, to which I agreed I was probably done for the night. I helped my teammate plug in Santa, because he’d only stay upright if there was a fan inside of the giant balloon blowing air to make him his full shape. So we left him in there, right by the sinks, after trying to put him on the toilet for more flair but failed. And then we departed the scene of the crime, heading back down to the apartments.
I will say that we were found out, due to some cameras around campus. But I managed to weasel out of punishments. The older teammates took responsibility, to which I owe an apology and also a big thank you to them for taking the fall. What an interesting thing it would be to tell people you were once written up for stealing Santa Claus on your university campus. At least there was no harming or maiming of Santa or his reindeer in the midst of the events of that night.
