After only ten months (maybe eleven) in Colorado, my husband and I packed our bags, hired movers, and left the mountainous state of Colorado. Part of me was a little sad, but most of me was happy. Now don’t me wrong–I loved seeing the mountains every day, but something was missing. Since we had arrived in Colorado, it felt like something was just off. There was a big of *magic* that was just absent.
I was all excited to move to Colorado, explore the new area, and start fresh. I read my old blog and shook my head, just thinking how naive I was. There were so many hopes that were never fulfilled, but most importantly (to be quite frank with you all), something about Colorado and the general atmosphere during the tail-end of the worst of COVID left me just…depressed. Extremely depressed. Every day was a struggle, not just the “Oh, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and just need to change my attitude” sort of thing. This was different.
All The Signs I Didn’t See
There was nothing wrong with Colorado. We would have loved to have a second chance to make it work, but too many things did not add up.
The Move There Was Telling
Do you know how they say that you often know when something will be a bad idea? Yeah. That was the entire move to Colorado. We rented a U-Haul last April and trekked up from Florida to Colorado. Every stop seemed to be just horrendous. We stopped in Tallahassee in a horrible part of town for the first night, where gunshots were heard nearby.
The second night, we ended up in Tupelo, which was manageable. The third night, we made it to Oklahoma, but we got stranded for five days because of high winds and tornado warnings. And not to mention, our U-Haul driver managed to rent us a truck without a single working headlight at night.
Yeah. So, the trip up to Colorado was a nightmare and should have been a sign that we should have just turned right back around and gone back to the Sunshine State.
Questionable Apartment Options
Arguably, this one was on us. We could have paid an easy (HA!) $2000+ per month for a one-bedroom apartment in a lovely part of the Denver Metro Area, but we decided to stay within budget. Instead, we received a cockroach-riddled apartment, lackluster apartment maintenance, and a place with a homeless camp right behind our apartment complex. Mind you, we were in the “luxury apartments.”
We had barely gotten about two months in, and I thought we were doomed. This entire move had flipped our lives upside down without warning or even a sorry for the trouble.
The Long Wait
Every move has to settle, and everyone has to stay a bit of time before they can leave and move on to the next place. So it makes sense, and it didn’t seem so bad at first. But I will say this: every day was a test of my patience and strength, no joke. I was beginning to feel like I was back in my early college days when things were not great with my roommates or even when there was friend drama. Except for this time, there was a heightened crime, and the apartment complex didn’t care to take care of any of it.
Pair this with our living arrangements, stringent COVID restrictions, fears, and literally zero friends in the area…you get the picture.
Lessons Learned
We all make mistakes. Yet, I’ve always (for the most part) been a glass-half-full kind of person, and once there is the light at the end of the tunnel, I feel better. The moment we got the news that our apartment squared away and our movers, I sobbed, no joke. To me, the nightmare was ending, and I could finally get out. And most importantly, away from the cockroaches that I am pretty allergic to.
Time Passes At Its Speed
Despite the long wait, my time in Colorado helped me appreciate time and the passage of such. Timing will never work out in your favor, and you have to make things work for you. I chose to channel the depression, anxiety, anger, and just downright negativity I was feeling into my work. I pushed for more projects. I embraced new limits. I wrote 3+ new novels (yet to be edited and such). Most importantly, I found what I could control and then plugged away.
Some Places Will Never Be Healthy for You
More so than the mindset challenges that we faced, my husband and I were just not our best selves. We dropped an easy ten to twenty pounds each when we arrived in Florida. I could say it was the water weight, but I also think it was the grief and the depression we were carrying. Seeing that beach that morning when we were heading to move into our apartment brought tears to my eyes, and it felt like the heaviest of weights was lifted.
Some places will never be healthy for you. On the way back to Florida, I discovered how sick altitudes make me. When you honor and respect yourself, you’ll make better decisions for yourself and your longevity. If it risks your health, it is NOT worth it, no matter what.
Nothing Lasts Forever
The great and the negative lesson: nothing lasts forever. It was the desire to be back where we wanted to be, where people were friendlier, and where we have friends. This too shall pass is not just a joke–it’s reality. Whenever the going gets tough, you can remember that advice, and it will set your worries free.
Don’t Be Afraid to Do What’s Best For You.
Everything that I experienced the last year was not what I wanted but also necessary. Everything we endure makes us or breaks us, but we get to choose. Even in the darkest of days, I knew I wasn’t alone. I hope that when you experience troubling times, you also remember that you’re not alone no matter what. Just as the tides come to shore and retreat, this too shall pass, and there will be brighter days.
